PROOF THAT MY MOTHER AND PHIL COLLINS ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON
EMU, EMO (NO NEED FOR CONFUSION: AN EMU IS A TALL, UGLY, SKINNY CREATURE WITH A BIG BEAK)
PASSION OF THE ‘BONE
LONDON PHOTOCARD
THE REJECTED POSES FROM THE LONDON TRANSIT PHOTOCARD SHOOT
EMO PHILIPS DOLL
MY AUNT WAS QUITE SCARED OF THIS DOLL
JOE FLAHERTY PRETENDING TO BE ME ON “MANIAC MANSION” (MAN, THIS MAKES MY HEAD HURT: SO MANY LEVELS!)
“EMO PHILIPS LIVE AT THE HASTY PUDDING THEATRE” ALBUM COVER (REVERSE)
PHOTOS LIKE THIS ARE WHY THEY HAVE CAPTION CONTESTS
THE TOUGH PART IS GETTING IT BACK ON THROUGH THE HOLE
DARRYL, EMO, LARRY, AND DARRYL
My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing!
I'm not a fatalist, but even if I were, what could I do about it?
Demon free since '79
Necrophiliacs are people too
Be sure to practice safe sex (the 5-second rule)
Updated every second of every day that the library is open
thank you for being a mammal
Wake up and smell the coffin
I have a love for animals that's almost illegal
signs point to YES
I'm a great lover, I bet
Thank you for not being Hitler
I used to play trombone but I let it slide
Thank you for probing my cyber-space
Signs point to "yes"
Thank you for not being Godzilla
I'm QUITE handy with the ladies
Thank you for being my friend
Please don't touch anything
Lick the screen. Go on. Lick it! You'll be popular.
Taking a porn break, are we?
If you can read this, you're too close to thanking a teacher
A man, a plan, a canal: Emo Philips!
God is watching you . . . or at least has that option
You are visitor number 542,837 . . . to ME